This past month and rainy days

I haven't blogged in over a month. I was very busy with confimration, our passion play, the Easter Vigil preparations and then I got the flu in the middle of it all but I didn't stop working. So, that turned into me being very very stupid....and two courses of antibiotics (that had no effect except on my stomach) later...sick with viral pneumonia. I was out of commission for two weeks and just felt a 'general malaise' the sligthest things seemed to drain all of my energy. I'm easing back into work now---only half days this week...and another doctor's appt. tomorrow in between classes. I have missed so much school that I know I'm not getting A's and have had to realize with more than a little frustration and let down- that I will not get through grad school with a 4.0 GPA... bollocks :(

The bright spot in it all was being able to spend time with my family, mom and dad and Maria and Kathy and neices and nephews...and Matt on Easter Sunday too...even though I never really left the house, it felt good to just not be alone. Usually I love living alone, I mean sometimes it can be depressing when I get too too too lonely, but overall it really suits me and I enjoy having all my own space (albeit rented) and schedule and freedom and (ahem)...lack of accountability to any human person. So, I love being alone, but not when I'm sick! There is just something about being surrounded by loved ones that can make you feel safe. I loved just playing games and watching movies with Jack, Kate Dan, Tommy and Rachel. They are still young enough that I don't have to do to much to impress...just show up and pay attention to them and they still love you uncondiationally...I hope that lasts a long time. But all in all, even though it keeps me away from home, my job is really amazing in that I get to do what I love, and with the exception of the drama (which takes a vacation over the summer when CCD is out!!! woo-hooo!!!), I have total freedom and the respect of my priest to let me do my own thing, in my own time, my own way. In a way I think that I'm spoiled because I don't think I'll ever be able to be bossed again!! Not to say I don't have real accountability like the expectations in programming and budget and staffing concerns...but more that, since I've proven my self competent and intelligent (not to mention indisposable-lol), I have free reign...and I'm quite comfy in my little life...and a good sick leave followed by a good thunderstorm is just an amazing finish to my crazy month!!!

I'm also pretty excited today because in two hours I am headed over to Best Buy in Waterford (near New London)to pick up my new laptop that is my birthday (32- ahhhhhhhh 'tooo old..too old to begin the training')present from Mom and Dad for school (and facebook!!). I will now be a member of the internet community while not bogarting time from work...

This may sound ridiculous because everyone I have talked to in the last two days has talked about how much they hate thunder storms...but I LOVE them. It has really cheered me up today. Something about them is so powerful and amazing. The thunder and lightning went on for four hours last night and it is continuing today. I love to listen to the rain, read a good book and just get into a warm blanket (yes - GET INTO- like a snuggie in the infomercial)

They make me feel like my senses are heightened with expectation of something involving intrigue and possibly something a little scary - in a good exciting way...like, "it was a dark and stormy night...". The rain is so loud right now that I can feel the vibration of the drops pelting the window pane next to me...it makes my heart race...

When I did get a few winks of sleep last night, I dreamt about hurricane Gloria and sitting on the front porch watching the trees bend with the force of the wind...I know hurricanes can be terrible and destructive, but they always leave me in awe as well at the power of God's creation and feeling small and fragile. Like the rain and wind can wipe away all of my earthly concerns... kind of like a mental "don't go out in this weather" or if you have ever seen "What About Bob?" a 'vacation from my problems!!' storms do that for me...a blizzard is neat, but a good thunderstorm is EPIC...think about all the great action movies that have made a scene more excting by adding a great thunderstorm....Twister and The Day after Tomorrow (okay those both sucked but the storms were cool...I mean just think of those movies WITHOUT the weather...EVEN WORSE, right?), even funny movies like Haunted Honeymoon and CLue...great thunderstorms! Then there is the Perfect Storm, which was sad because its a true story....and also one of the X-Men is NAMED Storm! Any good mystery film need only add darkness and storm to add to the suspense...think Key Largo...or that scene in 'It's Wonderful Life' where there is the run on the bank...not as foreboding if its sunny, is it? And I mean can you picture Jesus on the cross on a SUNNY bright and shiny day with birds chirping? I think not...

The water gushing from the gutters right now sounds like a river...

Anyway, just some random thoughts as I sit here and not work...

I really like the rain...

The End