I'm feeling really fulfilled and purposeful, if not super busy beyond all recognition at work these days.
Sometimes its easy to get complacent and it took a really great surge of parent and teen involvement to get me excited again. Since I make my own schedule, set my own goals, and plan all of my own activities for work, its easy for me, if something doesn't turnout how I want it to, to give up or not put as much energy and time into it as I normally would.
Year four must be when all the blood sweat (several concussions) and tears, start to pay off for Youth Ministry...
update grades 6-8- tough crowd, but overall very awesome...last year 100 kids by the end of the year...this year 120 on the first day and 5- 10 more each week so far...and they were respectful and sang and did their little evangelization skits...okay there was that kid in the back yelling out "Atheism Rules"...but hey, we'll take it slow :)
Now the High School crowd is the one that is really surprising me, I have 5 parents showing up to help me every Sunday Night, Which I've never had here in Clinton before this year! A normal Sunday night high school crowd at its peak was at around 15-25 (that's ranging HIGH) for the last three years...for the past three weeks we have had 40-55 kids showing up, bringing their friends who aren't even Catholic, and not just coming to the group but also to the mass, asking to join band, asking for me to plan activities, service projects, and parties for them. Yes, I lost some points when I wouldn't let them play Call of Duty 4 (rated MA for extreme violence, gore and language) during the game night, but we ended up cool. and Yes, there were a few conversations I heard that weren't the best or most uplifting...but we'll take it slow there too...they are all God's children and I feel very blessed right now to have a successful program going on...
Costume Party this Sunday...YAY
Monster Macaroni Bash....annual traditional St. Mary's family dinner and costume party...the teens and I will be decorating and serving the food...exciting costume parade as well...par-tay woot.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
no mas por favor....
I have decided not to watch or listen to anything else that is election related, be it CNN, FOX News, NPR or SNL, until November 4th. I will read selective things of my own choosing, but I am so sick of the partisan rhetoric that is killing our country...I'm sick of Obama, I'm Sickof Biden, I'm sick of McCain and Palin, and even Joe the Plumber...no one gets it at all and I AM DONE!
Ron Paul '08 :)
Ron Paul '08 :)
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Christine and Philippe :) <3
I was honored to stand up as a bridesmaid for my best friend Christine (Jumpeter) Corbet this past weekend and I was so blessed by the experience. I found a new hope and love in myself through their love for each other.
I was able to spend real quality time with her for days, and it seemed like it has been so long since we just had that time. It is so strange. When someone is a daily part of your life from the age of five, you just take it for granted that they will always be there. When Christine went off to college, we always stayed int ouch, but that daily presence was gone, and this weekend it was present again, along with the firm foundation of lifelong friendship that cannot be disturbed. Christine has been as strong steadfast and faithful friend, always, generous, loving, fun and very crazy :) and I realize how lucky I am to count her as my friend. Philippe is a wonderful man who truly loves her, is as giving and loving as she is and can always make everyone laugh and relax in an easy manner. It is so beautiful seeing to people bring out the best in each other and to share their love with family and friends.
Weddings can be so cookie cutter and cliche and theirs was truly unique, incorporating many French traditions from Philippe's home and although i couldn't communicate very well with the groomsmen, I believe it is a true testament that Philippe is the same type of steadfast person that Christine is, that so many people came over 3000 miles to be a part of his wedding. It was relaxed and fun and not over the top, the whole weekend truly reflected Christine and Philippe's personalities and character.
I've been so stressed out lately and emotional and bogged down in work for year's it seems...its funny that a four day weekend could do so much for my psyche. I hadn't been to a wedding since John and Michelle's, where I was also a bridesmaid and happened to be in love at the time...
I lost most of my faith in love and relationships or any desire for marriage in general after that, no matter how hard Jr and Michelle would pray and invite me down and I would witness them with each other and my goddaughter Andrea, and they restored my faith in marriage and love itself but I didn't feel any different about me...
I reconnected not only with Christine, Phillipe, Matt and Angelo( I also got to meet Angelo's girlfriend FINALLY), but I reconnected with the person they knew for all those years growing up, the foundation of myself that is strong and smart and funny and as a good a friend to them as they are to me...I reconnected with what I want in life and with not letting things break me, I reconnected with JOY and true freeing happiness. Their love for each other was so apparent as they stood on the altar before God and all of us. They didn't have to do this, they were married three years ago by a justice of the peace. Some people think maybe it was just for the party etc...but if you saw them on the altar it was so much more than that, it was a public declaration and sharing of their love and their marriage as they had it blessed by God in that beautiful church. I took one look at her walking down the aisle with Chuck and Cookie and I was crying, because she was I guess, but mainly just because I was overwhelmed with the joy and love int he room, and I know that was the Holy Spirit, awakening in me by the love present in that church, for Christine and Philippe from all of their friends and family, from God to all of us and from them to each other...that is a lot of love!
The more I thought about it, the more joyful I felt.
catching up with Angelo and Matt was great. I love Christine's family, they know how to party. The 'Frenchies' As we called them were so much fun to hang out with.
I guess for the first time in a long time, I didn't feel like a guest or an outsider, or like I didn't have love anymore...I felt like a part of this beautiful group of family and friends, very much a part of it. I felt as if I was right where I belonged.
As I celebrated with Christine and Philippe I had so many hopes for their future to be blessed and felt so loved that they wanted me to be such a big part of their special day.
I love God for giving me a friend like Christine. I know she will always be there for me, because she always has. And I'm so happy that she has Philippe in her life, because they love each other so much and I know they will always take care of each other.
Safe trip back to France for the Frenchies!
Safe trip to Hawaii for bride and groom!
And I just want to hang on to my joy that I found in rediscovering love in my life and the hope I have for my future. I want to always feel like this true version of myself, that can be at peace and not anxious or stressed by the opinions of others or affected negatively by their actions. I want the positive love filled atmosphere that renewed my perspective to be present in my memories when the 'spirit snipers' (public enemy reference) try to steal my joy. I want to always remember who I am , how strong I am, how loved I am, and not have the actions and moods of others effect mine here in CT anymore. I want to forget that failed relationship and move on towards love in my life. One of my friends helped me with that when I even mentioned my ex for a moment saying, "Please Annie, he really wasn't worthy of you. You can't waste anymore emotion on him." I realized how right that was and how right it felt. I saw myself as my friends saw me int hat moment, as a caring and loving person devoted to God family and friends, and I realized that the person I spent so much time grieving had not valued my feelings. I have finally closed that door for good and it feels so amazing! Not even sad, just relief, and I never thought I would get there...its nice place, peace...I want to stay here.
I was able to spend real quality time with her for days, and it seemed like it has been so long since we just had that time. It is so strange. When someone is a daily part of your life from the age of five, you just take it for granted that they will always be there. When Christine went off to college, we always stayed int ouch, but that daily presence was gone, and this weekend it was present again, along with the firm foundation of lifelong friendship that cannot be disturbed. Christine has been as strong steadfast and faithful friend, always, generous, loving, fun and very crazy :) and I realize how lucky I am to count her as my friend. Philippe is a wonderful man who truly loves her, is as giving and loving as she is and can always make everyone laugh and relax in an easy manner. It is so beautiful seeing to people bring out the best in each other and to share their love with family and friends.
Weddings can be so cookie cutter and cliche and theirs was truly unique, incorporating many French traditions from Philippe's home and although i couldn't communicate very well with the groomsmen, I believe it is a true testament that Philippe is the same type of steadfast person that Christine is, that so many people came over 3000 miles to be a part of his wedding. It was relaxed and fun and not over the top, the whole weekend truly reflected Christine and Philippe's personalities and character.
I've been so stressed out lately and emotional and bogged down in work for year's it seems...its funny that a four day weekend could do so much for my psyche. I hadn't been to a wedding since John and Michelle's, where I was also a bridesmaid and happened to be in love at the time...
I lost most of my faith in love and relationships or any desire for marriage in general after that, no matter how hard Jr and Michelle would pray and invite me down and I would witness them with each other and my goddaughter Andrea, and they restored my faith in marriage and love itself but I didn't feel any different about me...
I reconnected not only with Christine, Phillipe, Matt and Angelo( I also got to meet Angelo's girlfriend FINALLY), but I reconnected with the person they knew for all those years growing up, the foundation of myself that is strong and smart and funny and as a good a friend to them as they are to me...I reconnected with what I want in life and with not letting things break me, I reconnected with JOY and true freeing happiness. Their love for each other was so apparent as they stood on the altar before God and all of us. They didn't have to do this, they were married three years ago by a justice of the peace. Some people think maybe it was just for the party etc...but if you saw them on the altar it was so much more than that, it was a public declaration and sharing of their love and their marriage as they had it blessed by God in that beautiful church. I took one look at her walking down the aisle with Chuck and Cookie and I was crying, because she was I guess, but mainly just because I was overwhelmed with the joy and love int he room, and I know that was the Holy Spirit, awakening in me by the love present in that church, for Christine and Philippe from all of their friends and family, from God to all of us and from them to each other...that is a lot of love!
The more I thought about it, the more joyful I felt.
catching up with Angelo and Matt was great. I love Christine's family, they know how to party. The 'Frenchies' As we called them were so much fun to hang out with.
I guess for the first time in a long time, I didn't feel like a guest or an outsider, or like I didn't have love anymore...I felt like a part of this beautiful group of family and friends, very much a part of it. I felt as if I was right where I belonged.
As I celebrated with Christine and Philippe I had so many hopes for their future to be blessed and felt so loved that they wanted me to be such a big part of their special day.
I love God for giving me a friend like Christine. I know she will always be there for me, because she always has. And I'm so happy that she has Philippe in her life, because they love each other so much and I know they will always take care of each other.
Safe trip back to France for the Frenchies!
Safe trip to Hawaii for bride and groom!
And I just want to hang on to my joy that I found in rediscovering love in my life and the hope I have for my future. I want to always feel like this true version of myself, that can be at peace and not anxious or stressed by the opinions of others or affected negatively by their actions. I want the positive love filled atmosphere that renewed my perspective to be present in my memories when the 'spirit snipers' (public enemy reference) try to steal my joy. I want to always remember who I am , how strong I am, how loved I am, and not have the actions and moods of others effect mine here in CT anymore. I want to forget that failed relationship and move on towards love in my life. One of my friends helped me with that when I even mentioned my ex for a moment saying, "Please Annie, he really wasn't worthy of you. You can't waste anymore emotion on him." I realized how right that was and how right it felt. I saw myself as my friends saw me int hat moment, as a caring and loving person devoted to God family and friends, and I realized that the person I spent so much time grieving had not valued my feelings. I have finally closed that door for good and it feels so amazing! Not even sad, just relief, and I never thought I would get there...its nice place, peace...I want to stay here.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
my 'At Least' perspective..because that is the only option left..
Still in a bit of a funk over Shea Stadium...
Was checking out this site today...
http://www.ballparksofbaseball.com/Current%20Ballparks.htm
I think maybe loving something, anything at all, means eventual heartache...
I was looking at all the 'stadiums of the past' on this site, and thinking of all the fields that were demolished because the teams left the city...
I guess at the end of the day, even though they suck, and maybe a little because they do...we still have our Mets.
Thank you William Shea.
At least I got to spend as much time there as I did...great times, with great people.
At least we'll always have the memories of Shea, and maybe make some new ones at Citi Field, though it will never be the same. At least they're not shipping of to Cali, where my dad says, "they keep all the fruits and nuts" at least we'll still have our obnoxious noise of LGA overhead...
At least we still have a place to go watch our boys lose and sometimes win...
At least for Met fans, we know we're real fans...not like those Bornx front runners that complain and point the finger everytime they're not winning, which *gasp* means someone else is, and that they suck. The way they treated Joe Torre and sounded off about not making the playoffs this year just goes to show what little girls they are.
At least the Mets invited the people and players they screwed over the years, back to the closing ceremonies at Shea...Ah well, Torre was too busy with the playoffs anyway to go back to the BX anyway...and I mean I have no lost love for Torre anyway
Met fans go to games, we go to love and hate our boys, when they win and lose..there is passion in the stands, booing or cheering, and that is real love for a real team...
Looking at the stadium charts on that website I counted up the stadiums where I've seen games... San Diego and Atlanta were probably the most horrific...teams in Pennant races, with thousands and thousands of empty seats...
1 run ball games with the 'fans' that did show up talking about what was on tv the previous night and leaving in the 7th inning...Turner Field had more Met fans in my section than Braves fans...and they weren't even yelling at us! At Angels Stadium, the fans were excited, I guess, but that was the year they won the series...I've been to 9 National League parks and 6 American League ones ...and they all had something unique. I did get to go down the slide at Miller Park in Wisconsin, freeze my but off at Coors Field, Eat at a sit dowm Restaurant in Right Field in Maryland, see Disneyland and its fireworks in Anahiem( fireworks EVERY night would get old I imagine), just sit there in Minnesota, and swim at the BoB in Arizona, but none were home like Shea was..because of the memories there...
But also...as much as you have the love hate with the team, you have the love hate with other Mets fans as well...and no where, in all my travels...have I ever seen fans like Met fans....
Lord save us from the BX bombers and Red Sox nation...ugghhh..it almost felt sacriligious to be physiclaly present at those stadiums...give me a dirtied up Shea surrounded by friends family, other families, and loud obnoxiouos yankee fans who get into drunken fights with loud obnoxious met fans...I'll take that ANY DAY...over the peaceful, amenity filled, beautiful civilization of Camden Yards...
At least we can try to bring that fan grit to the new park.
At least we can hope
At least we can remember
At least we can dream
And the Metsies they have five month reprieve to 'find themselves' AGAIN
Maybe they will :
Fire Minaya...
Get the Wilpons will sell...
Not choke
Bury the Phillies in last place
Ring in the new park with such postseason glory that we can learn to love a new home...in a new way
But those are just the hopes for another season, in the 'just wait til next year' fashion...
At least, no matter what happens they will still be our team, like a marriage, for better or for worse...just seems like a lot more worse lately
"We'll always have Shea"
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Not Over It
So I keep thinking about the Mets...and I just can't get over it...
I had a dream last night of the end of the '99 season, with Kenny Rogers walking in the winning run at Turner Field...I woke up nauseous as I remembered how awful and anti climactic that night had felt.... after going to three playoff games that year...after my sister and I had been at the 15 inning game in the pouring rain that ended in a Robin Ventura walk-off single grand slam and pushed a game six. I remember we didn't care that we were freezing and soaked to the bone and it was nearly midnight. I remember how those row T Upper Deck seats were better than any luxury box I'd ever been in...
I can't believe that was nine years ago...
I can believe the Mets are still just as good at breaking my heart...
I remember going to games in the mid nineties...59 wins in 93 had to be my personal favorite...Frank Tanana and Anthony Young combining for 31 loses...great stuff...but we went to games anyway...watched the Doc lose and lose as his career wound down and drug use caught up with him...what a decade....the decade of wretched and never ending rebuilding and buying of ragtag players that, if they were ever to perform in the majors at all, it wouldn't be in a Met uniform... I'm speaking of the likes of Eddie Murray, Tim Bogar, Vince Coleman, Rico Brogna, Jeff Kent, Joe Orsulak, David Segui, Bobby Bonilla, Todd Hundley, Carlos Baerga, Jason Isringhausen... the never ending horrific runstyle of players...
Those summers were nearly unendurable, but going to a game was always great, because as much as you hated for them to lose, you loved the team and what they stood for...and it was beautiful to see them finally start to make something of themselves by the end of the decade...The days when they were on the cover of Sports illustrated with the best infield in baseball, Olerud, Alfonzo, Ordonez and Ventura...add Bobby Jones and Al Lieter on the mound and John Franco and Turk Wendell in the Bullpen and it felt like an era again...
After all the ups and downs through the years, and remembering the glory of '86 as a child, I just felt it was time...like they couldn't lose..but they did...in '99 and again in 2000, after losing the World series to the Yanks I felt numb, like I wouldn't expect anything much, like the mid-nineties...just enjoy the game for what it is, but don't expect much...
I start to think that maybe I'm just spoiled as I think of all the fans out there that have never had a winning team and I realize that we were blessed with a lot of joy that most fans never see...
But, to quote my brother Chris, "Time will make bitches of us all"..and it has...in the past few years, with Wright and Reyes in the infield and the Carlos' hitting them out of the park...I dared to hope again...I could feel it again...the magic back at Shea...
but they couldn't pull it off...
I watched The White Sox pull off a game last night and as it ended with diving catch and earned them a post season spot...I heard the roar of their fans and imagined that it was David Wright doing that at Shea on this past Sunday and what that would have meant...and it hit me that I would never be in Shea as it shook again...
What makes it so much worse this year, is not just that I won't be there with family and friends to experience the Mets at Shea...but also that this team just doesn't have that kind of heart...and that Shea will no longer be a part of the future successes of the Mets, if there are any to come...
I feel as if they are paving over the heart and soul of what this team has always represented, that underdog ability to drag itself back to the postseason with heart...the soul that spawned the mantra "You Gotta Believe"
Believe in what now? Omar Minaya's ability to build a team? These Mets suddenly finding the ability to grow a pine and not choke? A corporate stadium that a family in Queens can't afford to attend?
I have very little left to believe...
Shea gave the Mets the soul they lacked....it shook on many occasions when I was fortunate to be at postseason games and firework nights....the boos in the 90s resonated in its cavernous and often empty Upper Deck
The problem is...now these players that care more about clocking in than winning and have no heart, won't even have the options of possibly drawing it from the past, not that they ever did, but hte potential is gone.
Shea is no more, The first base line of Mookie's magical miracle dribbler is gone forever....and Citi Field will be just another cookie cutter new park among many, with bright shinny things to stare at...all labeled with the latest sponsor...and very little heart...
and no one cares but the fans...
I had a dream last night of the end of the '99 season, with Kenny Rogers walking in the winning run at Turner Field...I woke up nauseous as I remembered how awful and anti climactic that night had felt.... after going to three playoff games that year...after my sister and I had been at the 15 inning game in the pouring rain that ended in a Robin Ventura walk-off single grand slam and pushed a game six. I remember we didn't care that we were freezing and soaked to the bone and it was nearly midnight. I remember how those row T Upper Deck seats were better than any luxury box I'd ever been in...
I can't believe that was nine years ago...
I can believe the Mets are still just as good at breaking my heart...
I remember going to games in the mid nineties...59 wins in 93 had to be my personal favorite...Frank Tanana and Anthony Young combining for 31 loses...great stuff...but we went to games anyway...watched the Doc lose and lose as his career wound down and drug use caught up with him...what a decade....the decade of wretched and never ending rebuilding and buying of ragtag players that, if they were ever to perform in the majors at all, it wouldn't be in a Met uniform... I'm speaking of the likes of Eddie Murray, Tim Bogar, Vince Coleman, Rico Brogna, Jeff Kent, Joe Orsulak, David Segui, Bobby Bonilla, Todd Hundley, Carlos Baerga, Jason Isringhausen... the never ending horrific runstyle of players...
Those summers were nearly unendurable, but going to a game was always great, because as much as you hated for them to lose, you loved the team and what they stood for...and it was beautiful to see them finally start to make something of themselves by the end of the decade...The days when they were on the cover of Sports illustrated with the best infield in baseball, Olerud, Alfonzo, Ordonez and Ventura...add Bobby Jones and Al Lieter on the mound and John Franco and Turk Wendell in the Bullpen and it felt like an era again...
After all the ups and downs through the years, and remembering the glory of '86 as a child, I just felt it was time...like they couldn't lose..but they did...in '99 and again in 2000, after losing the World series to the Yanks I felt numb, like I wouldn't expect anything much, like the mid-nineties...just enjoy the game for what it is, but don't expect much...
I start to think that maybe I'm just spoiled as I think of all the fans out there that have never had a winning team and I realize that we were blessed with a lot of joy that most fans never see...
But, to quote my brother Chris, "Time will make bitches of us all"..and it has...in the past few years, with Wright and Reyes in the infield and the Carlos' hitting them out of the park...I dared to hope again...I could feel it again...the magic back at Shea...
but they couldn't pull it off...
I watched The White Sox pull off a game last night and as it ended with diving catch and earned them a post season spot...I heard the roar of their fans and imagined that it was David Wright doing that at Shea on this past Sunday and what that would have meant...and it hit me that I would never be in Shea as it shook again...
What makes it so much worse this year, is not just that I won't be there with family and friends to experience the Mets at Shea...but also that this team just doesn't have that kind of heart...and that Shea will no longer be a part of the future successes of the Mets, if there are any to come...
I feel as if they are paving over the heart and soul of what this team has always represented, that underdog ability to drag itself back to the postseason with heart...the soul that spawned the mantra "You Gotta Believe"
Believe in what now? Omar Minaya's ability to build a team? These Mets suddenly finding the ability to grow a pine and not choke? A corporate stadium that a family in Queens can't afford to attend?
I have very little left to believe...
Shea gave the Mets the soul they lacked....it shook on many occasions when I was fortunate to be at postseason games and firework nights....the boos in the 90s resonated in its cavernous and often empty Upper Deck
The problem is...now these players that care more about clocking in than winning and have no heart, won't even have the options of possibly drawing it from the past, not that they ever did, but hte potential is gone.
Shea is no more, The first base line of Mookie's magical miracle dribbler is gone forever....and Citi Field will be just another cookie cutter new park among many, with bright shinny things to stare at...all labeled with the latest sponsor...and very little heart...
and no one cares but the fans...
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